So frustrated, pissed off actually.

Well, I have to admit, that I am so frustrated with the "system". First of all, I want to stress that Mental Illness is just as severe, damaging, life changing, and chronic as all other serious illnesses out there. I am well into my journey of trying to find resources for myself and again, I find myself up against a wall when it comes to services for mental illness and services to facilitate access to treatment for mental illness! I AM PISSED OFF!

So, in order for me to access the TMS treatment, I have to travel to UBC which is located in the west side of Vancouver. It is a lovely area of Vancouver, the university endowment lands are gorgeous, the campus is beautiful but guess what? It is over 5 hours from where I live. This means that for me to access treatment, I have to leave my home, my spouse, my friends, my support network and everything familiar to go there for 5 days a week to get "zapped". This is all fine and well except for the fact that the only lodging near UBC is the hotels located on campus and they are a minimum of $150/night and include nothing - no food, no supports, no recreation. Ok, so UBC hotels might hot be an option for me but maybe I can find a place elsewhere.

When I started looking at what my options were, I came to the realization very quickly that I have practically none. In order for me to stay in a motel (a crappy motel) somewhere far away from where I will be getting treatment (meaning a commute from wherever I stay) I must pay around $150+ per night plus in some cases $15-25 per night parking. Maybe if I am lucky the hotel/motel would have a small pool and maybe a little breakfast. So, for treatment of 5-7 weeks, I am looking at a minimum of $4,000 to $6,000 just for hotel. Then there is meals, transportation, possibly parking at UBC etc.

I have contacted the Vancouver Coastal Health authority, the University, The Canadian Mental Health Association, and the people running the program at UBC amongst others and there is NOTHING. There is no place to stay. There is no real reduced lodging rates - especially for UBC hospital patients. There is no non-profit low cost housing (like cancer house or Ronald McDonald house etc.). There simply is NOTHING. When I broached the subject with the head of the NINET TMS program at UBC about possibly holding a TMS clinic at UBC Okanagan (a short drive from my home) the answer was that there was no funding to do that and until such time as the treatment is covered by BC medical, there will be nothing like that happening. UGH!

My options for lodging are hotels/motels, Air B&B, finding people I know that live down there to couch surf. Is this REALLY acceptable? No wonder people from around the province aren't being told about this possibly life changing treatment. THERE ARE NO SUPPORTS IN PLACE WHAT SO EVER for people like me who are travelling from a far distance to get treatment for mental health issues unless I am in-patient at a facility. Sadly, I would put myself through that route if I could but there aren't enough beds or facilities for the people that need them as it is.

My husband does have a good job that pays pretty well, but none of my medical related lodging expenses or anything like it are covered by extended medical plans and I am on disability. I am stressing out about where I am going to be able to stay, how often I can come home (on the weekends), and how I am going to be able to afford it. I consider myself lucky being in Canada. Even though this treatment is not covered by BC Medical, it is being funded by UBC research grants etc, I feel fortunate to be able to have access it (even though there are centres all over the US in almost every major city and that almost all the health plans down there cover this kind of treatment). We simply aren't prepared for these kind of expenses at this point. We haven't been able to squirrel money away for a rainy day for a variety of reasons. This is causing me a lot of stress and anxiety. We are now heading into the summer months which of course are high season for the hotels and motels so my projections of expenses are probably way off.

There is the financial aspect and then there is the emotional aspect. Supports while I am gone? None. No social or friend support, no spouse support, I will be alone in a place I do not know, with no one. This scares me a little.

Again, I see how my health care system is lacking when it comes to the needs of mental health treatment, facilities and supports in my province and in my country. It is so sad. The world looks to Canada as an example, but here we are, again, another area in our system with people stuck with no place to turn. It isn't like I live in some podunk town away from any major centres. I could just scream with frustration right now, not just for me but for everyone who might find themselves in a similar position.

At this point, I am not sure how I am going to master the challenge of finding safe, comfortable lodging for myself during treatment. Too embarrassed to do a GoFundMe (as my husband has a good job) and we don't want to draw attention to ourselves. My family does not have the money. I don't have much for credit cards and the interest we would have to pay to get it paid off is insane. If anyone reading this has a place to stay in the Vancouver, B.C. area or knows of a non-profit house for people like me who are travelling from far places for medical treatment, please comment or reach out.