My TMS Journey

Well, I have to admit, that I am so frustrated with the "system". First of all, I want to stress that Mental Illness is just as severe, damaging, life changing, and chronic as all other serious illnesses out there. I am well into my journey of trying to find resources for myself and again, I find myself up against a wall when it comes to services for mental illness and services to facilitate access to treatment for mental illness! I AM PISSED OFF! So, in order for me to access the TMS treatment, I have to travel to UBC which is located in the west side of Vancouver. It is a lovely area of Vancouver, the university endowment lands are gorgeous, the campus is beautiful but guess what? It is over 5 hours from where I live. This means that for me to access treatment, I have to leave my home, my spouse, my friends, my support network and everything familiar to go there for 5 days a week to get "zapped". This is all fine and well except for the fact that the only lodgin

So, after returning to the doctor and telling her I am prepared to commit, she wrote up the referral. I waited for months but finally heard back. The first step is a group information session at the NINET clinic at UBC  https://ninet.med.ubc.ca/ . Depression happens to run rampant on both sides of my family. I grabbed my aunt for the trip down to UBC. She was my support person but I thought she could benefit from the info as someone who also suffers from depression and chronic pain. It was smart of me to get my aunt to come. She was able to think of questions I wouldn’t have thought of, she was excellent at understanding me and the challenges I face, she was able to help with all the driving but most importantly, she wants to try this treatment.  Highlights from my information session were: The technology has been around in Canada for about 15 years. During that time, there has been no indication of long-term side-effects. That being said, the technology and treatment

In the simplest way possible, TMS (Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation) is using magnetic energy (like induction) to stimulate areas of the brain where it is believed you can relieve depression. It’s basically a targeted MRI to your head without the picture. You sit in a chair and a technician places a wand over the area of your head where the treatment is to be focussed. When the device is turned on, it emits magnetic pulses that target the brain and stimulate neural pathways. How it cures depression is up for debate but for about 50% of people it is a complete cure. This treatment is done for several minutes 5 days a week for 4-5 weeks(or longer). The machine makes a fair amount of noise during the treatment so patients are given earplugs to protect their hearing. I have heard the sensation explained as if it is a tapping sensation with little to minimal discomfort. After the treatment patients are free to go about their day and usually do not experience any kind of side effects.

I am keeping this blog because I have not found a lot of information from actual TMS patients on their experience with TMS, their treatments, their moods or their results. I hope that the very personal information I share along my journey will help countless others battling depression. Keep in mind, I am not a writer. I have never been good with grammar and I am too lazy to have someone edit each post I make. Right on the cusp of GENX and Millenial, I fell through the cracks in many ways. I have suffered from treatment resistant, ongoing, major depression for most of my adult life. I have done years of therapy, tried almost every anti-depressant/mood altering medication out there with little to no relief. The side effects of some drugs have been Frankinstinian. All the years of wondering why I can’t just be normal, wondering why I don’t get better on the medications and various therapies, the heartache of people not being able to understand or show compassion have been devastating. I